ferrie
she/they
- May 19, 2024
- 513
When I overdosed in March, I experienced a lot of side effects that kept me in the hospital for a week before they could move me to the psych ward. The one that was worrying the nurses the most was that my resting heart rate was 100 & would spike to over 170 as soon as I stood up. I think the highest it hit while I was on the medsurge floor was 184. The cardiologist there said it was just my anxiety & to "come back when I'm normal". Flash forward & my PCP wrote a referral for cardiology bc that shouldn't happen to someone who is young and relatively healthy. I finally had that appointment today & the cardiologist wants to take me off of prazosin & I have to wear a heart monitor for a week. It all feels so pointless. I hate going to these appointments bc I just want to be dead, so what's the point in working on my health. Plus prazosin is the only thing helping me sleep at all. I get like maybe two hours of sleep a night as is, and my nightmares were so bad off of it. And the monitor is so uncomfortable. It's nowhere near as bad as the one I had to wear in the hospital, but I can't tune out the feeling of it at all