Discussion Has Therapy Helped You?

[Lra888]

Has therapy helped you?

I sometimes feel traumatized afterwards. It's painful going over how bad things are, how I want to die, past events, loss, hopelessness, etc. I feel exhausted and sad afterwards.

It's nice to talk with my therapist because she's kind and it gets me out of my filthy apartment - but I really don't know how this can help my situation in any way. I still want to die, I still have a plan and my life is totally ruined and I feel this may be a waste of time and money.

My goal is a feeling of acceptance and calmness about my death but professional therapy won't help with that.

 

[Sundayafternoon]

Has therapy helped you?
..,but I really don't know how this can help my situation in any way. I still want to die, I still have a plan and my life is totally ruined and I feel this may be a waste of time and money.

I would never tell anyone not to pursue therapy. But my experience has been like yours. I've tried off and on for years.

When I was still hopeful that I could be "helped", the therapist just didn't seem qualified to deal with the level of treatment I needed. Instead of admitting this, they minimized my issues ("All you have to do is...", or ("You've got to let go of the past.")

I wasn't taken seriously by a couple. I'm mostly witty during sessions, I don't have a problem opening up, I seem assertive and still kind of friendly and I don't seem so awkward. Because this has been their experience with me, they have a hard time imagining I'm not that way ALL OF THE TIME IN EVERY SITUATION. It turns into a big game of, "I-Say" ,They-Say".

I was explaining my issues with "self-care" once, and my therapist's reply was, "I don't see that! Every time I see you, you look nice." Yes - but you only see me twice a month!

I think I've been written off as a know-it-all. I've been into self help books since I was 15 or so. I started trying to figure out what what was "wrong" with me in my late teens, and my plan at one point was to major in psychology. I'm introspective to a fault so I'm often aware of my neurotic behavior and it's source. I would research types of therapy that I thought might help, only to be ignored or dismissed.

The last attempt was last year, I think. I realized, I can't be helped and I'm just wasting money. I don't want to be helped. Aside from being given a pill that would make me "WANT THIS LIFE" there's nothing to be done. I just don't want it.

Has therapy helped you?
My goal is a feeling of acceptance and calmness about my death but professional therapy won't help with that.

Exactly. This has become my goal. I'm still practicing self-help. It's just taken a different form.

 

[Jodes]

While wanting to live, these were helpful;

Asertiveness training
Mindfulness

But CBT to me seemed ridiculous when I JUST can't keep at it. Not possible.

Plus my extreme social issues mean the chance of me bonding with and being understood by the first therapist the state/NHS gives me after a years' wait is slim to none. I had some therapists i wasnt impressed with AT all, (wrong fucking job) but it's mostly the state's fault for bankrupting us and exploiting the best health workers to exhaustion

 

[Lra888]

When I was still hopeful that I could be "helped", the therapist just didn't seem qualified to deal with the level of treatment I needed. Instead of admitting this, they minimized my issues ("All you have to do is...", or ("You've got to let go of the past.")

I feel this too. I tell her all this fucked up shit and she'll tell me about meditation or give me some silly quote like "first you have to accept things as they are then you can change them" or "what enjoyable thing can you do to relax?". Seems so absurd when I've just been talking about how I don't want to live.

I also try to put on a front of decency for them so they wrongly assume Im better than I am. Once I hadn't eaten in two days or showered in 3 because I was so sick with depression - had purchased rope the week before and was in total mental agony. Before I went to my appointment I showered and tried to appear okay because I had to take the train. I walked into the office and forced a smile at her and she was like "you're smiling! you seem better". Made me feel kind of strange and I had to explain that i was actually doing worse.

Paying for weekly appointments puts a big strain on me and i don't have much money so it adds to my worry and stress.

 

[Jodes]

I also try to put on a front of decency for them so they wrongly assume Im better than I am. Once I hadn't eaten in two days or showered in 3 because I was so sick with depression - had purchased rope the week before and was in total mental agony. Before I went to my appointment I showered and tried to appear okay because I had to take the train. I walked into the office and forced a smile at her and she was like "your smiling! you seem better". Made me feel kind of strange and I had to explain that i was actually doing worse.
.

I always thought it was just me, yet common here. Incompetence

 

[TAW122]

No it hasn't. It has been mostly a waste of time and money for me (even though during the time I was in school, it was free for students as part of our tuition, I'd still don't find it helpful at all). I don't have any intention of changing and no amount of therapy, talk, or medicine will convince me that my life is worth living. I've been dying for many years, and I just want my physical body to die with it so I can out of this miserable life.

Ultimately, I want to die by my own hands since I believe in the right to choose when one and how one should die. I also rather not wither away in a assisted living facility or nursing home, no thanks.

 

[Sundayafternoon]

I feel this too. I tell her all this fucked up shit and she'll tell me about meditation or give me some silly quote like "first you have to accept things as they are then you can change them" or "what enjoyable thing can you do to relax?". Seems so absurd when I've just been talking about how I don't want to live.

I also try to put on a front of decency for them so they wrongly assume Im better than I am. Once I hadn't eaten in two days or showered in 3 because I was so sick with depression - had purchased rope the week before and was in total mental agony. Before I went to my appointment I showered and tried to appear okay because I had to take the train. I walked into the office and forced a smile at her and she was like "you're smiling! you seem better". Made me feel kind of strange and I had to explain that i was actually doing worse.

Paying for weekly appointments puts a big strain on me and i don't have much money so it adds to my worry and stress.

I could have written that whole post. Down to the train part! I didn't start driving until my late twenties. So my appointments up until then guaranteed an extra bus/train ride that day, Of course I showered!

And the damn quotes and mantras! Give me break. Ugh.

I'm sorry you've had to experience this shit. I'm sorry any of us have to experience this.

 

[IfHeDiesHeDies]

No, not at at all. Unless my underlying physical conditions improve, I can't see how talking to a complete stranger and popping some pills can suddenly make me forget my cancer and chronic pain and run around with a permanent grin on my face.

 

[cupio dissolvi]

I think I've been written off as a know-it-all. I've been into self help books since I was 15 or so. I started trying to figure out what what was "wrong" with me in my late teens, and my plan at one point was to major in psychology. I'm introspective to a fault so I'm often aware of my neurotic behavior and it's source. I would research types of therapy that I thought might help, only to be ignored or dismissed.

SAME. My ex-therapist would call me her "colleague" (no sarcasm). I'm not even remotely that knowledgeable. I'm just very sceptical, introspective and obsessive. I've pondered upon my issues for years now - I know exactly what I'm dealing with. I've read a lot about various disorders and I was supposed to study psychology (if only I weren't so dysfunctional).

On topic: no, it hasn't. Been in and out for +4 years. Needless to say, it's utterly exhausting. It drains my energy and it should challenge me instead.

•Psychodynamic therapy is all talk no action. I love to ramble about my problems but it's unproductive for someone as dysfunctional as me, to say the least. I WANT my solutions.
•ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy) was the worst. Might be slightly biased but bloody hell...I should've never tried it in the first place, I just flat out disagree with its premise. Therapist was an indecisive prick. She forced me to immediately confess details that aren't even pivotal to treatment. Insisted that my current obsessive symptoms were a direct product of a...Quite uncomfortable thing that my dad would do to me when I was 10-11. No evidence whatsoever of that supposed classical conditioning. It was just speculation and she wouldn't let it go. It was mildly offensive. No, my obsession has probably nothing to do with that particular thing. Shut up. Mindfulness and any relaxation technique... I'm just not that kind of person.
•Then I've tried CBT. Again, I might've been unlucky. But not really useful. Would've liked more practical and challenging exercises. I resorted to planning and doing my own exposure and response prevention exercises. CBT sounds good on paper. Especially for my severe OCD. I quit because I can't accept being told I "enjoy my illness(es)". Yes, I enjoy it so much I want to kill myself!

 

[Muri]

No. They only validate your feelings and offer no true solutions to situations. I could have a whole conversation similar in my head for free.

 

[Lra888]

SAME. My ex-therapist would call me her "colleague" (no sarcasm). I'm not even remotely that knowledgeable. I'm just very sceptical, introspective and obsessive. I've pondered upon my issues for years now - I know exactly what I'm dealing with. I've read a lot about various disorders and I was supposed to study psychology (if only I weren't so dysfunctional).

On topic: no, it hasn't. Been in and out for +4 years. Needless to say, it's utterly exhausting. It drains my energy and it should challenge me instead.

•Psychodynamic therapy is all talk no action. I love to ramble about my problems but it's unproductive for someone as dysfunctional as me, to say the least. I WANT my solutions.
•ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy) was the worst. Might be slightly biased but bloody hell...I should've never tried it in the first place, I just flat out disagree with its premise. Therapist was an indecisive prick. She forced me to immediately confess details that aren't even pivotal to treatment. Insisted that my current obsessive symptoms were a direct product of a...Quite uncomfortable thing that my dad would do to me when I was 10-11. No evidence whatsoever of that supposed classical conditioning. It was just speculation and she wouldn't let it go. It was mildly offensive. No, my obsession has probably nothing to do with that particular thing. Shut up. Mindfulness and any relaxation technique... I'm just not that kind of person.
•Then I've tried CBT. Again, I might've been unlucky. But not really useful. Would've liked more practical and challenging exercises. I resorted to planning and doing my own exposure and response prevention exercises. CBT sounds good on paper. Especially for my severe OCD. I quit because I can't accept being told I "enjoy my illness(es)". Yes, I enjoy it so much I want to kill myself!

No. They only validate your feelings and offer no true solutions to situations. I could have a whole conversation similar in my head for free.

Retelling my shitty life circumstances and mental problems does nothing. I tell her I've attempted suicide in the past, that I'm desperate, that this must change and I feel too mentally unwell to do anything. I leave the session feeling more helpless because part of me believed this would be a solution but it definitely is not.

 

[MisterSadness]

It has helped my therapists' bank accounts, not me.

I echo @thrw_a_way1221221 sentiments.
A waste of time and money.

 

[Smilla]

First therapist was actively harmful, second was a waste of time and money.

 

[Letmego. Please]

No because they make assumptions then base what they think you should talk about on said crappy assumption.
I was adopted = i must have a fear of rejection
My adopted parents didn't much like me = i must fear rejection
My husband ran off with a tart he met on the internet = i must fear rejection

Fuck off already with the 'rejection' crap, i have no problem with other peoples choices & it has nothing to do with my dislike of living or my desire to bump myself off.

 

[Throwawaysoul]

@Letmego. Please
I was adopted and my adopted parents didn't like me much either. I wonder what the suicide rate is among adopted people. This isn't why I want to CTB either.

I go to therapy and not much is happening. I guess talking to person every two weeks is somewhat therapeutic.

 

[Final Escape]

I feel this too. I tell her all this fucked up shit and she'll tell me about meditation or give me some silly quote like "first you have to accept things as they are then you can change them" or "what enjoyable thing can you do to relax?". Seems so absurd when I've just been talking about how I don't want to live.

I also try to put on a front of decency for them so they wrongly assume Im better than I am. Once I hadn't eaten in two days or showered in 3 because I was so sick with depression - had purchased rope the week before and was in total mental agony. Before I went to my appointment I showered and tried to appear okay because I had to take the train. I walked into the office and forced a smile at her and she was like "you're smiling! you seem better". Made me feel kind of strange and I had to explain that i was actually doing worse.

Paying for weekly appointments puts a big strain on me and i don't have much money so it adds to my worry and stress.

You remind me of me.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

It wasn't useful for me. First off, I found that I wanted to give as much backstory on me as possible - to communicate every nuance of my personality and history, but soon realized I wouldn't have enough time for all that, and that it wouldn't be retained by my therapist anyway. I'm not 100% sure why I found that so important. I think it was that I wanted truly personalized advice - no cliche, cookie-cutter nonsense that I could hear anywhere.

Aside from that, I found that I was just kind of talking at length and at random. Things would get tangential. Once I get going I can talk bullshit for hours. Before I knew it, the session would be over and I'd just kind of be like "what did I just do?"

I would also look back on the session and realize there was practically no feedback from the therapist. So me wanting everything to be just right and specialized was all for nothing, because it would rarely even get to that stage. In that sense, it always felt sort of unstructured and frivolous - like I may as well have been talking to my cat. Part of that was likely my own fault, of course, talking as much garbage as I do. But I think it's also a therapist's job to reign things in, to offer up advice, or provide useful exercises/homework for me to do, and there was none of that, ever. The guy must've loved me, $125 an hour for basically no work. I still feel sick that I paid that.

 

[GreenLantern]

No. Most therapists are mean and make me feel bad so I come out of the session feeling worse. It's ironic that society says to seek therapy if you're suicidal but they make me want to do it even more.

I expected them to have more empathy and be a little bit nicer to their clients given the mindset of the people they talk to. But they told me therapy is a very "professional" relationship. And that your therapist isn't your friend. While that's fine and of course I already knew that, you don't have to be someone's friend to empathize with them and be sensitive to their problems.

Plus that's insulting and presumptious to make it sound like your client in therapy is trying to become your friend, when it's clear that they are really just coming to your office and discussing their problems, because that's what people do in therapy. There was no need for them to pre emptively reject me like I was gonna ask them if they wanna go get a drink after the session. And one of my issues I discussed was loneliness, so that's insensitive to pre emptively and presumptiously reject a person who's already lonely when I was even trying to become friends with them to begin with.

 

[Ben]

No because they make assumptions then base what they think you should talk about on said crappy assumption.
I was adopted = i must have a fear of rejection
My adopted parents didn't much like me = i must fear rejection
My husband ran off with a tart he met on the internet = i must fear rejection

Fuck off already with the 'rejection' crap, i have no problem with other peoples choices & it has nothing to do with my dislike of living or my desire to bump myself off.

I've also dealt with the "let me reference my text book and see what's wrong with you" type therapist. Even had a doctor tell me my knee can't hurt in a certain spot when it did, because his books probably said It shouldnt be hurting there. Bitch, my knee hurts right there, you don't tell me where I hurt. Same with some therapists.

 

[TAW122]

If there was anything beneficial for me, it was just venting to someone who (pretends to) gives a shit and maybe get a diagnosis for some disorder or shit. Other than that, nothing much. The benefits do NOT outweight the costs and risks associated with opening up or speaking to a mental health professional in my case.

 

[MAIO]

Has therapy helped you?

I sometimes feel traumatized afterwards. It's painful going over how bad things are, how I want to die, past events, loss, hopelessness, etc. I feel exhausted and sad afterwards.

It's nice to talk with my therapist because she's kind and it gets me out of my filthy apartment - but I really don't know how this can help my situation in any way. I still want to die, I still have a plan and my life is totally ruined and I feel this may be a waste of time and money.

My goal is a feeling of acceptance and calmness about my death but professional therapy won't help with that.

Prostitution is cheaper and much better at stress release.

 

[GreenLantern]

Also, some therapists I've seen make it sound like you're crazy or unhealthy if you don't trust people. Obviously it's not wise to trust a lot of people. There are a lot of evil people out there that will do you harm. There are lots of strangers you don't know. And you just shouldn't say that to someone who has had a lot of bad experiences with people. No, its smart not to trust people.

 

[Made4TV]

Well I guess I'll be the lone voice to weigh in and say that some of my therapy has been very helpful. I have had some awful therapists, but also some good ones. The one I have now has a lot of background with trauma as well as dissociation (DID/multiple personality). And my shrink is amazing too. But I have had some really horrible shrinks in the past - I viewed them as a necessary evil. I don't know how I got so lucky in the last two years. Unfortunately, I can't afford the therapy I need now.

I've had different kinds of therapy at different times and it's helped. With some therapists I've done some trauma work, with others it was short-term stuff - just getting through the daily grind of life with a sick spouse, etc. It was helpful when I was able to come in with defined goals. But some therapists have been in over their heads with me and ended up doing fucked up things that were harmful. The best ones were the ones that took their cues from me. I also received some benefit from a partial hospitalization (day hospital) scenario that had DBT therapy as part of it.

tl:dr
Yes, some of it.

 

[ArtsyDrawer]

My therapist is kinda strange. Found betterhelp by accident when I was an inch away from attempting what I now know as partial hanging. I spent a lot of time setting up nested vpns to make sure they don't see me in my real location, used code words to replace certain, possibly exposing details, and am using a fake name to make it more difficult to track me down.

Apparently my guy keeps spreadsheets. That's what he says, anyway. He does give customized advice like @Angst Filled Fuck Up wanted, but it's sometimes very anticipated.
"Have you tried not hating these exact six black people who happen to be black?"
"Well, doc, it's a bit difficult to not hate someone who jacks off while you bust your ass and gets paid the same, isn't it?"
He does have his interesting moments. We've reached the conclusion I'm becoming an ANGRY shit as opposed to RACIST shit, we've reached the conclusion that I'm stuck in a weird anger loop that is impossible to break for now, and we've reached the conclusion I'm suicidal, but am researching my method as opposed to the dipshits who jump off the Golden Gate and survive.
He's very pro choice, which is very helpful, and very knowledgeable on firearms.

All in all he helps me remain sane, for the very least.

 

[iHeartRockArt]

I have only gotten therapy for some past trauma during my childhood, and the times I had to talk about it just brought all that pain back up. So I choose to only talk about it with my family and close friends whom I want to open up to about it. Professional therapy never helped me, but that's not to say it wouldn't help someone else. I know several of my friends who have been helped by them. So it all depends on the person and situations at hand, in my opinion.

 

[Letmego. Please]

@Letmego. Please
I was adopted and my adopted parents didn't like me much either. I wonder what the suicide rate is among adopted people. This isn't why I want to CTB either.

I go to therapy and not much is happening. I guess talking to person every two weeks is somewhat therapeutic.

I find it strange when talking to folks that when adoption comes up they assume your parents must have been great because they chose to adopt you, therefor they must have wanted you. I think what people forget when they adopt is that the kids are going to be coming from dysfunctional & often mentally unstable parents, so we come with genetic baggage as it were. And some of the adoptive 'parents' have expectations that they can hold the kids as they want them, and i my case i didn't fit the perfect daughter image she had, but my brother (adopted from a different birth mother) fitted in perfectly to her ideals, so growing up being told you are not what they wanted kinda sucks.

Hi to a fellow adoptie, i have not met many in my 40odd yrs, but the ones i have met have all had Minty Health problems.

 

[Sad Panda]

I did counseling briefly. I went maybe three times. It was awful. The lady seemed very judgmental and constantly tried to push the same methods on me that I wasn't comfortable with. She wanted written journals and I wasn't comfortable or really able to put my feelings into words like that. I just stopped going and tried to figure it out myself. I still haven't but now therapy is tainted for me. I went into it unsure and left even worse off.