Happy on the outside, suffering on the inside

[Roulette]

Is anyone else in this dilemma, or has been?

Funny how even if you always tell everyone that it's fine, it'll eventually take a toll on you somehow. I feel like a character/actor to everyone, and these past few years I've been isolating myself because of it. It's rather lonesome. My own identity is stressful to think about

Can't even bring myself to talk to an online friend honestly. :/ There'd be a lot of hypocrisy as well as feeling like a fraud

Maybe this is just social anxiety at play
Wish I could just disappear altogether

 

[Smilla]

If you find an online friend who is also suicidal then you will be able to open up about how you are really feeling.

 

[Roulette]

If you find an online friend who is also suicidal then you will be able to open up about how you are really feeling.

There's been a few people but so far it hasn't happened much, it felt necessary to be there for them instead. Even had a bestfriend who was suicidal yet couldn't do it.

Not sure what I'm really searching for

 

[RM5998]

We're acting all the time - before friends, family, and even the mirror. The thing that amazes me is how much people buy into the charade. I think that's our core issue - the inability to buy into the hidden and supposedly nonexistent artifice.

 

[Midnight]

Been acting for as long as i can remember. It all depends on who you are arround and in what situation. Sometimes complete façade sometimes less. But never (not even here) do i let my guard down completely.

 

[MissLisa]

I have to pretend to be ok, it is exhausting