silent_haru
New Member
- Nov 30, 2025
- 1
It started last week, my best friend stopped talking to me. Usually we video called each other every day and we texted each other every day as well. He stopped then without any notice. Unfortunately this was my only friend and a precious friend as well. I told him almost everything, even that I don't feel ok mentally. I'm so thankful that he was there, but suddenly he stopped talking and stuff. Everytime I tried to text him he had an excuse ready. I thought okay, maybe everything is just too much lately. So of course I waited for him a week, but he didn't text me once. So I asked him today that I noticed he didn't talk to me and all and it feels like he doesn't want be my friend anymore. I was so anxious all this time waiting, before sending this risky text too. This weekend I felt like shit as well, just tried to sleep the whole time with some medicine. When I was awake I already felt like my whole world was already destroyed. I almost tried to hang myself as well(rn I wish I did it, but unfortunate I thought that's just an impulse).
Now I thought I will be brave and ask him. He said " it's not you. I just want to have me time and do my stuff. I wanna be more out with my friends. I don't wanna call anymore. Under the week I wanna be by myself.we don't need to end this friendship. Maybe sometime we can hang out as well."
He all said this just when I asked him not from himself and then I asked him about our new year eve plan. I told him so many times how much I'm looking forward to it and now he says no to that as well.
I wanna answer him and tell him how I see that, how I feel about this all. But I know he is going through some stuff (death in family and death of a friends mom) that's why I don't wanna hurt him but I guess I'm at my limit.
I don't have anyone anymore in my life. I heard the phrase too often"we can still hang out" it never happened again. So his message seems like a good bye and I think what did I do wrong? I can't change this anyway. So tbh I don't have a reason to life anymore, there is none.
Even if I try not to kill myself for some time, I guess as soon as the holidays arrives I will do it. I thought about hanging but apparently the henkersknot is not suitable, I can't drill a hole in my walls as well. What is the right method, even death has so many questions.
Now I thought I will be brave and ask him. He said " it's not you. I just want to have me time and do my stuff. I wanna be more out with my friends. I don't wanna call anymore. Under the week I wanna be by myself.we don't need to end this friendship. Maybe sometime we can hang out as well."
He all said this just when I asked him not from himself and then I asked him about our new year eve plan. I told him so many times how much I'm looking forward to it and now he says no to that as well.
I wanna answer him and tell him how I see that, how I feel about this all. But I know he is going through some stuff (death in family and death of a friends mom) that's why I don't wanna hurt him but I guess I'm at my limit.
I don't have anyone anymore in my life. I heard the phrase too often"we can still hang out" it never happened again. So his message seems like a good bye and I think what did I do wrong? I can't change this anyway. So tbh I don't have a reason to life anymore, there is none.
Even if I try not to kill myself for some time, I guess as soon as the holidays arrives I will do it. I thought about hanging but apparently the henkersknot is not suitable, I can't drill a hole in my walls as well. What is the right method, even death has so many questions.
