Venting First post

[rotten]

Ctb has never left my mind since high school. I first started down this path when I was only 11. Unfortunately I was denied help by my parents who don't believe in mental health. You know what they told the school and mental health counselors? They actually told them I wanted to ctb because I got my phone taken away....which couldn't be further from the truth. (Seriously anyone that desperate for a phone would have just stolen one it doesn't even make sense) After they found out about my attempt, I was only faced with their ridicule instead of compassion. And that's partially how I've grown into the disgusting person sitting here today. A lot of the time I just stay in the house 24/7 feeling nothing but apathy. Other times my brain just seems to betray me and I can't stand the fact that I'm breathing. Once in a while I feel happy....but those days are becoming more and more rare.

It's nice I have somewhere safe to talk now though. I'm new here and now you know a little about me.

 

[BehindTheWall]

Welcome aboard my friend.

 

[JustAMatterOfTime]

Hello

 

[Brink]

Welcome, although I feel sorry you find yourself here too.

It's not fair that you feel invalidated and ridiculed by people from who, at the very least, you expect compassion. It could be that they are ticker skinned and of a much tougher time, or that they are abusive and narcissistic. Maybe deep down, you're able to reflect on that?

I hope you're able to heal and move forward and one day let them know how it felt. Better still, one day to forgive and extend empathy to those who once gave you the cold shoulder. I hope you find the ability to speak freely here helpful too.

 

[DoodleBug]

Welcome, this place feels like the only haven left. I've been lurking for a long time and felt safe reading about variety of topics.

Much of what you wrore resonates with me. Most of my family were addicts and abusers, but my parents always wanted to "shield" me and my brothers by not acknowledging mental illness. They're good people, but every crisis was met with denial. Thus, we ended up crazy. I've experienced most shitty therapists archetypes, but oh what can you do.

I hope that you that you'll find sincerity in here and one day have a safe oportunity to tell your abusive parents off.

 

[rotten]

Hello

Hi!

Welcome, although I feel sorry you find yourself here too.

It's not fair that you feel invalidated and ridiculed by people from who, at the very least, you expect compassion. It could be that they are ticker skinned and of a much tougher time, or that they are abusive and narcissistic. Maybe deep down, you're able to reflect on that?

I hope you're able to heal and move forward and one day let them know how it felt. Better still, one day to forgive and extend empathy to those who once gave you the cold shoulder. I hope you find the ability to speak freely here helpful too.

I hope so too. But finding this place has already had a small effect on me in a good way.

Welcome, this place feels like the only haven left. I've been lurking for a long time and felt safe reading about variety of topics.

Much of what you wrore resonates with me. Most of my family were addicts and abusers, but my parents always wanted to "shield" me and my brothers by not acknowledging mental illness. They're good people, but every crisis was met with denial. Thus, we ended up crazy. I've experienced most shitty therapists archetypes, but oh what can you do.

I hope that you that you'll find sincerity in here and one day have a safe oportunity to tell your abusive parents off.

I also have quite a bit of addict and abusers in my family. It's difficult and at times just scary. But I'm glad I found this site, a lot of people really seem to understand.

Welcome aboard my friend.

Thanks!

 

[Moose.000]

Nothing worse than family downgrading your legitimate life ending thoughts to something childish and non-threatening. It only adds fuel to the fire.
I fully understand your mindset. My days are few and far between as well. And they only seem to be getting worse the older I get. Almost feeling like I'm on borrowed time at this point. You're not alone, believe me.