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"The opposite of depression is vitality"-A.S. Tedx
- Jun 10, 2020
- 118
Recently I have become totally nihilist. I owe my uncle almost 9 grand and I want to pay him back, but I dont think I can hang on for even a month longer.
Im self sabatoging a ton. Im not looking for work and i only make maybe $100 a week in a small restaurant right now. Im not motivated in college at all, and I don't want to do anything. I want to fucking die. And just so you know Im not playing some bullshit, I have the SN ready. The only thing holding me back is the debt I owe but.. nihilism is starting to destroy my ethics too.
My parents are catching on to my behavior and worrying... well, more like panicking. They are yelling at me everyday saying I need to "get up and be productive", I need to "take care of myself and stop being lazy". I dont have the strength to keep this facade going. I got the hang of it for a few months but its fading now.. I think im just burned out. My only wish is to ctb but I feel bad doing it while I owe my uncle money.. a lot of money.
Thanks for any feedback or replies.
Im self sabatoging a ton. Im not looking for work and i only make maybe $100 a week in a small restaurant right now. Im not motivated in college at all, and I don't want to do anything. I want to fucking die. And just so you know Im not playing some bullshit, I have the SN ready. The only thing holding me back is the debt I owe but.. nihilism is starting to destroy my ethics too.
My parents are catching on to my behavior and worrying... well, more like panicking. They are yelling at me everyday saying I need to "get up and be productive", I need to "take care of myself and stop being lazy". I dont have the strength to keep this facade going. I got the hang of it for a few months but its fading now.. I think im just burned out. My only wish is to ctb but I feel bad doing it while I owe my uncle money.. a lot of money.
Thanks for any feedback or replies.