Obviously as humans we all make mistakes, some big and some minor. However, no matter how small of a mistake I make.... I CANNOT let it go. Today I made a very small error at work and now all i can do is think about it and think about how much of a dumbass I am. I feel so miserable I dont even want to go to work and I can't even function right now and study for school because i'm overthinking.
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MichaelNomad123
Jesus
- Oct 15, 2020
- 433
This is the result of your self-esteem being eroded to nothing, so everything feels raw and you develop cyclical thinking. I am the same, but I have discovered that the more mistakes I make in life while simultaneously trying to foster a positive mindset has helped me be okay with making mistakes. Be kind to yourself. Mistakes are how we learn. Try to think about something you are confident in -- it doesn't matter what it is. For me, I would often think about my old gaming achievements or cooking.
Thanks for the advice. At one point I was able to handle everything after doing exactly what you said but i've just completely reverted back to the same bad habits and it drives me nuts because I want it to end now but it's not just gonna fix itself overnight
voidman
emptiness —> nothingness
- Sep 15, 2020
- 217
Yeah every time I mess up the smallest thing I shit talk myself in my head for days
Lilacmoon
Beautiful moon, take me away.
- Sep 23, 2020
- 1,308
Every mistake clings to me and weighs heavier and heavier. Each one a sin to remember and blame myself for forever. Have a hug for relatableness.
God yes I do. I made the most stupid mistake a few years ago and it's destroyed my entire life. WTF was I thinking? :(
Yes.
It multiples all of my other insecurities, especially when it's in regards to a relationship (not necessarily romantic, just any sort of bond).
It multiples all of my other insecurities, especially when it's in regards to a relationship (not necessarily romantic, just any sort of bond).
Swimbike
Member
- Sep 14, 2020
- 15
I still cannot believe that one mistake cost me so dearly. This poem has eased the pain occasionally.
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
Blank Dreamer
Seeker of Dreams
- Sep 11, 2020
- 72
Always.
It all comes down to the same reasoning in my head.
I'm not smart enough. I'm not creative enough.
Or that I never learn from my mistakes. No matter how hard I try or no matter how much good I want to do.. There's always something wrong. Over time it gets tiring, taxing and... heavy. But it doesn't numb you. You don't get used to making mistakes over and over again. At least for me. There's only one thing I can do right and end all of my mistakes...
Yeah, that's a wrong mentality to have. Never said I was right in the head. I could've moved on from all the mistakes I made. But I can't. And I don't know why. There are days where I will feel fine and I don't think about them. But they will always be there. Always pulling me back from moving on or making steps to improve.
Always.
It all comes down to the same reasoning in my head.
I'm not smart enough. I'm not creative enough.
Or that I never learn from my mistakes. No matter how hard I try or no matter how much good I want to do.. There's always something wrong. Over time it gets tiring, taxing and... heavy. But it doesn't numb you. You don't get used to making mistakes over and over again. At least for me. There's only one thing I can do right and end all of my mistakes...
Yeah, that's a wrong mentality to have. Never said I was right in the head. I could've moved on from all the mistakes I made. But I can't. And I don't know why. There are days where I will feel fine and I don't think about them. But they will always be there. Always pulling me back from moving on or making steps to improve.
Always.
Throwmyselfaway
Not gone yet but soon
- Jan 14, 2020
- 797
I make one small mistake and I will like disappear into my self and try to mentally fix my mistake.
I do this many times a day, it can be the smallest thing like simply dropping an object. Another form of it for me is out of nowhere remembering something negative and instantly feeling like a worthless pos for the next undetermined amount of time.
GoodPersonEffed
Brevity is my middle name, but my name was TL
- Jan 11, 2020
- 6,726
It sounds like perfectionism. I recently got a book on it to help me with my own, but it was CBT-heavy which I find blamey and unhelpful, so I returned it because it wasn't perfect, haha. Right after that, I found a book called Imperfectionism that helped me make a huge shift in some of my thinking just reading the first two or three chapters. The last chapter I read was on rumination! The author is a layperson and his writing style is a bit hyper, like he really wants to convince the reader about his method I haven't even gotten to, but I'm really satisfied just having read the first part.
To answer your question in the title, I don't go down like you do for one small mistake, but I can relate to it. If I don't do something perfectly that was emotionally significant, my norm has been to pick out the one minor error in the entire effort, ruminate, and beat myself up and catastrophize. It's like there's a big giant maginfying glass that focuses on that one little thing and blows it up really big, bigger than me, and there's an accompanying message that it's focusing on me and I'm an awful person or I've done tremendous, irreversible harm. I'm learning to simmer that way down.
Sending empathy and compassion!
To answer your question in the title, I don't go down like you do for one small mistake, but I can relate to it. If I don't do something perfectly that was emotionally significant, my norm has been to pick out the one minor error in the entire effort, ruminate, and beat myself up and catastrophize. It's like there's a big giant maginfying glass that focuses on that one little thing and blows it up really big, bigger than me, and there's an accompanying message that it's focusing on me and I'm an awful person or I've done tremendous, irreversible harm. I'm learning to simmer that way down.
Sending empathy and compassion!
Sprite_Geist
NULL
- May 27, 2020
- 1,622
All washed up
Experienced
- Oct 31, 2020
- 232
introspectious
Member
- Nov 2, 2020
- 30
sadworld
existence is a nightmare
- Aug 25, 2020
- 3,868
It's the same for me. I guess I've made too many mistakes already...
Aeathelina
Little Homeless Girl
- Feb 5, 2020
- 307
My current circumstance leaves me feeling guilty over every little thing I do.
Even having a meal with my sister makes me sad because I don't deserve it. Or bathing because what's the point. Its just a waste of resources on a piece of trash like me.
I don't like this feeling.
Even having a meal with my sister makes me sad because I don't deserve it. Or bathing because what's the point. Its just a waste of resources on a piece of trash like me.
I don't like this feeling.
All washed up
Experienced
- Oct 31, 2020
- 232
This is how I feel when I have a meal with my sister
Awful feeling
MrBlue
Arcanist
- Jul 1, 2020
- 416
I do this an awful lot, and the mistakes often begin to snowball because I'm so focused on the first mistake that I go into my own head and either don't pay enough attention to what I'm actually doing, or pressurise myself to get it perfect from then on and then mess up under the pressure.
I've made mistakes that have sent me into spirals of depression and suicidal ideation for years so yeah I'd say I'm vulnerable. Here we are now.
VoidDesirer22
A dream inside a locked room
- Sep 6, 2021
- 673
Finally found a venting thought that I could have written word for word myself.
Yeah, I was arrested in a prostitution sting a few years back. I should have just gone home that day but I let myself get the better of me. Things have mellowed out since then but it was fuckin embarrassing when it happened. Got turned down from jobs and the whole time I though boy I wish I had a gun to blow my fucking head off…. If I had the money. Suicide is expensive as hell if you want it quick and painless
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 43,885
It can be very awful, when you do something you regret and our thoughts can torture us. I guess the way I see it, eventually everything we have done will be insignificant as all our problems will die with us. Life is very meaningless after all. Also with mistakes, sometimes we thought we were doing the right thing at the time and we did not know any better.
