Do you have any rituals/requirements you wanna fulfill before you CTB

[rabbitlinnt10]

Or do you just wanna do it ASAP? This is what my schedule will be and my last week on earth, I'm gonna spend the week by

1. Finish watching all of my favourite tv shows and movies
2. Get drunk / high almost every day
3. Play a video game from the ps2 from my childhood for nostalgia of old times when life was not complicated before I leave this simple earth
4. Tell my ex girlfriend I hate her guts and how much she and all of her friends she took from me while they all mentally tortured me and harassed me for 3 years straight (I can do this without worrying about any consequences or regrets)
5. Spend my last day having a delicious meal and then spend the evening in bed when it's dark outside listening to my depressing eargasmic spotify playlist for 3 hours in front of my fan as I relax and reminisce while in my feelings
6. Take my Nembutal

Life is so simple when you think about how meaninglesss all of our suffering and why we walk this earth is yet so complex that it's funny. it's so horrible, but it's so beautiful in your last day knowing you can free your soul and gift yourself the joy of knowing you will never ever have anxiety, stress, anger. Dying is a beautiful thing and I'm rly looking forward to this final day on earth, I crave it, I salivate thinking about how powerful I'll feel and how all of the people that kicked me when I'm down will no longer be living rent free in my head and will no longer have control of my mind, my body, my soul, my ego. We all deserve it

 

[lavendersrue]

I have a rough idea of what I'd want my final day to look like.

1. Play with my rabbit for a little while. I'll miss him a lot.
2. Make chicken and waffles for breakfast/lunch.
3. Make sure I've tied up all loose ends.
4. Clean up my room and make sure my suicide notes are in a conspicuous place.
5. Go to the beach and listen to all my favorite songs along the way (~3.5 hour drive.)
6. Go to a seafood buffet.
7. Bum around the beach for a little while, collecting seashells and playing in the sand. Maybe take a nap.
8. OD on sleeping pills, throw on a weighted vest, and jump off the pier into the ocean.

There is, of course, a saying about the best-laid plans. My car might break down, the beach might close because of some freak accident, etc.

 

[FuneralCry]

The only thing that I want to do is make sure that the method does not fail, I just want to be gone, there is nothing that I enjoy. I also look forward to dying, it comforts me the thought of all my suffering coming to an end, yet I wish that it was easier to leave this world more than anything.

 

[Catchingdabus27]

Tbh ^^ same like before maybe?? I would've wanted to likeee get some drugs and get high or whatever now?? Eh...

I'm kinda just over life. Im over my dull pain I'm over "low levels" of lows?? I just want it to end. I don't feel much on my own and I don't really enjoy even the fact that other people can still invoke "joy" within me

Im not at a point of some catalyst event pushing me over. Im at where im at. Very meh. I'll be ending it from there. Very mediocre feels

 

[Pol]

i used to have one, but had to delete it. got no backup. i guess it's time a make a new list. my partner was going through my phone and saw it.

who the hell checks someone else's notes app anyway?

 

[houseofleaves]

I. Finish all preparations, check if i've forgotten anything:
1. letters, goodbye videos — ready, publication scheduled?
2. data — copied, destroyed/ready to be destroyed?
3. things — given away, scheduled to give away?
4. things i will need to die (SN, measure cups, clothes) — ready?
5. ideal place — found?

II. Ask myself if I'm ready to go. Proceed to do next steps only if «Yes».

III. Visit a great composer's monument, bring him some flowers (blue lilacs would be the best choice). Ask for forgiveness and peace for the last time.

IV. Visit my university. Sit on the staircases, enjoy the view. Attend the evening concert, if i wish to do so.

V. Start a goodbye thread here.

 

[Rational man]

I have no unfinished business( the advantages of dying by illness ). I thought about a bucket list,but ive experienced life through the choices i made. I wish to go out with the sunset, fading away in the remaining light of day surrounded by nature.

 

[deleted]

1 Losing my virginity to a really pretty girl

2 In my last week of life getting high and eating and drinking my favorite foods, lasagna, strawberry milkshake, chocolate, pizza, hamburgers

3 Go to an amusement park

There are many many things I would like to do but unfortunately I won't be able to.

 

[The Final Solution]

I'll take out the biggest loan I possibly can and burn the money on drugs, gambling, sex and lottery tickets. Have a taste of all the debauchery and hedonism my life seems to be missing.

Who knows? If I do win the lotto I might actually just keep going.

 

[inabsentia]

I have a story (that I've uploaded) that I'd like to finish, and another I'd like to write that sort of encapsulates where I'm at right now. but who knows if I will have the energy.

Beyond that, I'd just like to spend time with my cat (he's old - I'm comforted by the fact I won't have to experience losing him, and he will be ok with family), eat my favourite meals which I've made a list of, finish one tv series and watch one movie. Don't have much else on the bucket list lol.

Likely I'll just spend the last days playing games. But I'm not decided on whether I want to play my old, favourite games one more time, or finish/start new ones I'd been meaning to.

 

[symphony]

I've... thought about this. I'm not sure. On one hand, it seems natural to want to go out feeling at ease and having surrounded yourself by things you love. One the other, I could see that backfiring, making me want to cling to life more, or making me feel more sad and upset about dying. Thankfully, it seems I have a while to figure it out, but here are some of my preliminary thoughts:

• Eat some favorite meals (but nothing too too fancy) in the days before
• Maybe watch some favorite movies (or maybe not... this might just make me sad, my favorite movies all tend to have positive messages about life)
• Show my cat I love her
• Probably talk a lot to people on SS for comfort and company, since I obviously can't say goodbye to my loved ones IRL
• Finalize that everything is set in terms of notes, delayed emails, digital data, care for my cat
• On my final day, I'll wear a comfortable outfit and maybe some sentimental trinkets (jewelry, socks, items in my pockets)
• This will depend on the method, but ideally I'd like to die on my couch with soft blankets around me and my stuffed animal for comfort, lights dimmed
• I'll go out listening to music, something beautiful and peaceful - I already have a few preliminary songs in mind

I wonder how things will change with regards to my day-to-day activities. Why would I bother going to class or doing the dishes if I know I'll be dead in a few days' time? That could be difficult to navigate in a way that feels satisfying.

Anyways, this is something I think about a lot. Imagining my final moments can help calm me down when I feel significantly distressed.

I'll add that I'm not going to "wait" until I've accomplished or experienced anything in particular. Sure, there are things I'd like to do first, but many of those are impractical given my current circumstances or could force me to wait around much longer than I'm willing to. I just have to accept that some things were just not meant to be.

 

[Al_stargate]

Don't have any special desires. I would probably like to go travel a bit and meet new people but my condition is not allowing me. There are things I still have to take care of like sorting out finances, donating some possessions. That's about it and off I go. If I think of anything that would bring me even an inkling of joy, I'll go for it.

 

[Kurinoy]

I never did. I just wanted to disappear asap and I tried to do it.

 

[Sm42]

I am already preparing me to go. As I live abroad I just booked a flight to visit my friends one more time in my natal country to hug them and tell them how much I love them and say thank u to be part of my life (that was pretty good before my illness). I wrote a goodbye letter and a list of telephone numbers to communicate to those I care that I'm gone

 

[EmptyFields]

I just want to help a few more people before I go. If I stumbled across a perfect way out tomorrow, I'd take it, but I know that's highly unlikely. Over the next year I plan to procure the methods for my exit, but in the meantime, I'd like to get back into volunteer work. Haven't done it in a long time. I just sent an e-mail to a homeless shelter not far from me to ask what opportunities they have.