do you ever feel like you are letting the bad guys win by ctb?

[okuhvtuji]

I have some problem with myself, but mostly I have problem with this world. There are really awful ppl and it troubles me, I mean even if someone eventually gets some justice, the amount of ppl that literally ignores everyday abuses all while showing off their moral virtue is sickening. I'm not into cancel culture or protesters harassing ppl, but you know I expect some coherence (?)
I also soothe myself by thinking "ok, these awful ppl won't have a happy life", bc even with money etc they wont have nice loving people around them. But idk I feel like I simply want to give up.

 

[Randy Savage]

Yes, it's kind of one of my major regrets.
Transphobic people online for years told me to kill myself or quoted suicide statistics, and now that I'm ready to die it feels like I'm just fulfilling or validating everything that was said to me like that and letting them win completely

 

[ultrasharpy123456]

I'm letting the heroes have their victory. You've slayed the evil dragon. You won, good job.

 

[okuhvtuji]

Yes, it's kind of one of my major regrets.
Transphobic people online for years told me to kill myself or quoted suicide statistics, and now that I'm ready to die it feels like I'm just fulfilling or validating everything that was said to me like that and letting them win completely

i know that the queer community sucks as well, the moment one diverges from their ideology they get ostracized (detransitioners). Do you know buck angel? He's a trans grandpa, ppl do make it as trans ppl.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

No, not really. I consider the "bad guys" to be all of society and my death would impact them in a super small way. If I'm dead, I won't be forced to give taxes to society which is exactly what I want. The elites know that suicides cost them money which is why they try to force suicidal people to live for as long as possible.

More importantly though, I care more about letting myself win rather than letting the bad guys lose. I see killing myself successfully as being a win as I won't have to suffer or deal with the human experience any longer. I see death as a positive and blissful thing for myself. It's dying that's scary, not death

 

[Beyond_Repair]

There will always be "bad guys", corruption, greed, etc. As long as humans exist "bad guys" will exist, and they'll usually be the most successful and powerful.

The way I see it, there will always be bad guys whether I CTB or not. But if I CTB I will never have to worry about or deal with them. So I guess I see it more as I'm going to be free of a cruel world, vs letting the bad guys "win"

So in a way I'll be the real winner. Maybe that's a stretch though lol

 

[avalonisburning]

Denying them a victory would require more effort than I'm willing to put up, and I get nothing back except the knowledge that they're not winning. They can have it.

Besides, it's not like the "defeat" is going to follow me.

 

[danter0id]

good. fucking let them win. maybe they'll be happy. I know me killing myself will be laughed at, and maybe that'll give them some joy. my life isn't worth anything on its own, it's only worth something to other people, and my death would mean so much more.

 

[TomorrowNeverComes]

No.
I could blame the world for all my problems as much as I want but at the end of the day, I'm well aware that the reason I've gotten into this situation is because of my selfishness, poor judgement, and terrible decision making.
Sure, words hurt and I'm no stranger to them but once you've gotten to the point where no one cares enough to even look at you, you only have one person to blame.
The only "bad guy" in my life is myself.

 

[yxmux]

No. I don't see the world as good vs. bad. I see everyone else as NPCs for the most part. I feel like I'm on a higher plane of existence than everyone else. I don't believe society is deserving of my intellect and intelligence, and as such, I refuse to contribute to society for anything other than utilitarian purposes. In fact, watching the world go to shit against me is somewhat amusing to me due to how mindless and easily manipulated people tend to become. I generally have deep resentment for people in general. I never express any of this though and tend to be polite.

This makes me very detached and isolate from reality though. I secretly wish I could feel love for other people, but that prospect doesn't even feel right in the first place. I feel there's no use in negotiating with other people because I don't trust them to consider my input properly rather than either use it against me or even unintentionally misinterpreting what I say. I'm jealous of other people's genuineness and spontaneity, but at the same time, I don't wish to be like that.

Edit: added stuff; accidentally posted before I could finish

 

[Forever Sleep]

I feel more like the 'bad guys' and this world deserve one another. Sometimes I wonder if there eventually will only be narcissists and psychopaths/ sociopaths left and it gives me a smug satisfaction that they'll have no more 'weaker' people to pick on and they'll have to fight amongst themselves. Obviously, I realise that doesn't make me a very nice person to actually have those thoughts...

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I AM the Bad Guys, or at least one of them. I'm being pushed to CTB in the name of Justice and to help make the world a little bit better without me in it.

 

[failure383]

Everybody dies eventually, even the bad guys. It's the great equalizer. They will die and be forgotten, just the same way all other people will.

 

[okuhvtuji]

I was hoping to find some comfort in your answers, but they just pull me down further :(
[I'm not blaming you, this is depressing]

 

[AmericanMary]

In my case, the "bad guys" are the six men who have SA me & the company I have quit two stores under for sexual harassment.

I am name dropping every single person I can, publically as I drink SN. With proof.

Honestly CTB is kinda my revenge.

 

[okuhvtuji]

In my case, the "bad guys" are the six men who have SA me & the company I have quit two stores under for sexual harassment.

I am name dropping every single person I can, publically as I drink SN. With proof.

Honestly CTB is kinda my revenge.

Can't you talk to a lawyer? I feel you, but if you have proof it's worth talking with a feminist collective or something.

 

[AmericanMary]

Can't you talk to a lawyer? I feel you, but if you have proof it's worth talking with a feminist collective or something.

I've reported 3 men to police. I've told doctors.the first time I told I was 15. Nothing happened. I gave up. I wanna leave anyways. I'm not leaving bc of them solely.

 

[okuhvtuji]

I've reported 3 men to police. I've told doctors.the first time I told I was 15. Nothing happened. I gave up. I wanna leave anyways. I'm not leaving bc of them solely.

I know, I know. I reported an episode of domestic violence (1) to my psych and she told me I had dreamt it (much less serious situation than yours and the doctor did not believe me)

 

[AmericanMary]

I know, I know. I reported an episode of domestic violence (1) to my psych and she told me I had dreamt it (much less serious situation than yours and the doctor did not believe me)

Im so sorry to hear you've had this experience:/ sending hugs if consensual.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I'll take this win by killing these monstrous 30 trillion cells they call a human body i'm trapped in.

I'll be in non-existence no problems no stress no work no chance of any kind of pain suffering or problem every again. They'll still be struggling in this evil world having to work stress chores to do lists suffer etc. always battling a losing battle against the law of Entropy and will get very old and have to deal with that hell

 

[Blooper]

The world doesn't revolve around homosapiens.

 

[zengiraffe]

I don't think gay rights and trans rights especially would have advanced so quickly if it weren't for all of the suicides. Martyrs give a lot of power to the cause. With that said it doesn't matter in the end, we'll all die regardless, including all of the "bad guys".

 

[lizzywizzy09]

They won't even notice.

 

[Lady Laudanum]

I keep trying to convince myself to not CTB with that line of reasoning but who are we kidding here? At the end of the day the world is going to keep turning without me.

 

[SoulWhisperer]

As you said, those would be "bad guys". So even if I (like someone above posted) "fulfilled their desire" of wanting me to CTB I, first, wouldn't be there to see nor care about their reaction, as it wouldn't impact me anymore at all in any way. And secondly + most importantly as I started this comment. Bad guys. Would you expect empathy from your enemies?

If they'll feel responsible for the outcome they'll either feel bad or regret their actions (Showing they aren't pure round 100% heartless devils) or they'll stick to their guns confirming they are pretty much scum, to wish death upon someone else very often for petty and stupid reasons.

 

[Lewliette]

That pass through my mind everyday, but I´ve cleared my mind that, at the end of ctb, I won´t think of them anymore. I don´t care if they keep doing bad things, someday they will find their fears, but not with me