Venting Complications/vent

[Cheshirecatx]

Back again,

I was found in the woods not so long ago pre-ctb attempt after my friend went looking for me and couldn't find me. Twice in one week I was caught. Ended up referred to mental health services in my area which makes all my attempts 10x more complicated.

my SN was taken by police, all I'm left with now is a cocktail of pills, blades and rope. I searched for ages in the woodlands and could not find one suitable spot where I could do Ctb.

feel like I'm going crazy. I'm desperate. Partial isn't working for me with many attempts, haven't found my sweet spot and I've been trialing for a while. Considering full.

I am running on very limited timeframes. This is exhausting. My life has become constant suicide watch and I'm barely trusted to be alone.
Apologies, felt I needed to vent out this currently. Trying to avoid any sort of detainment currently. Not sure what to do from here.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope you find peace whatever happens to you. I understand the awful feeling of just wanting to go but feeling as if you are forced to stay here. People need a right to die in peace.