Today is not a good day. Cant stop crying. I want to ctb so bad but I'm so scared. But I am waiting for the right time. I feel so bad I just want to die now.
relax, it's okay to be scared. It's the final step everyone of us has to take for achieving nirvana.
Thank you I've cried for 2 days. So scared it wont work or I'll end up in a psych ward or something I dont know. I just know I'm scared and I'm sick and I want it to end. Thank you for talking to me
I made a thread about survival instinct. If it makes you feel better, you can read it
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/i-met-death-today.990/
Gevatsu
Weak
- Jul 15, 2018
- 66
I feel like my SN method is going to fail but it has to work, right?
Yes it has to work for both of us we have no choice but for it to
Gevatsu
Weak
- Jul 15, 2018
- 66
If I wake up after that attempt, I will officially break. Why is dying so hard?
It must work if well done. If you take the antienemics each 7-8 hours for 3 days before doing it for granting you won't puke, the right dosage and something that numbs a bit your pain for assuring you won't suffer it should work and kill you in 1-2 hours.
BlackDragonof1989
Mage
- Jul 12, 2018
- 526
I'm not even suffering to that point but the pain is enough for me today so I just dosed 300 mg dxm to escape for a few hours, hopefully it goes well, sucks that it's temporary and has side effects if used too much, been about a week. Wish you well, sorry I suck at support but glad we're all miserable in here together, it's like a family I never had.
Gevatsu
Weak
- Jul 15, 2018
- 66
For antiemetics, I only have Zofran and not that much left. I can get about 7 tablets though. I have no money to buy Metoclopramide. I have Risperidone, which is a dopamine antagonist, would that help? I have Tylenol-Codeine 3 which also increases the chance of Methemoglobinemia. For benzos, I have a ton of Lorazepam. I have Ranitidine as my acid reducer. What do you think? It just has to work...
I was told by azure the zofran wouldn't really work that's all I have too
Gevatsu
Weak
- Jul 15, 2018
- 66
I think it's so hard because we are taught from an early age that dying is bad and something we have to be afraid of at least it was for me
I give you a big hug, my friend. I hope you find peace. I hope we all do.
Thank you my friend I hope we all find peace too
Gevatsu
Weak
- Jul 15, 2018
- 66
I'm mentally prepared to die. I don't have the stuff required to die peacefully though. If only I could afford N.
Sorry but I'm not so wise. Here should be info enought and if not you can always ask something, there is wiser people than me.
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/sn-megathread.1156/
There might even be an after life, don't worry too much about it. It's gonna happen anyway one day
Gevatsu
Weak
- Jul 15, 2018
- 66
I've sadly, read that thread three times. I think my method could work though. I can make this work. Maybe?
Gevatsu
Weak
- Jul 15, 2018
- 66
The thought of an afterlife constantly haunts me. I just want out!
I don't mean heaven, I mean something like a lucid dream world where you're god and can do whatever you want.
I'm not even concerned about an afterlife I'm afraid it wont work for some reason and I dont deal well with pain. I'm just scared and I think the reality of it all is just setting in.
I'm not sure, it's risky... It must be 100% effective for avoiding more problems with family...
Gevatsu
Weak
- Jul 15, 2018
- 66
Having any sort of conscious would be hell but that would definitely be an experience. I wonder what kind of god I'd be like!
Gevatsu
Weak
- Jul 15, 2018
- 66
You're right, it's risky but it's all I got. If I fail, I'll try to get Metoclopramide and Cimetidine.
Will most of you take something for courage ahead of time alcohol drugs, etc?
Yeah. I did succeed without any of that at first but it was an accident I can't repeat unfortunately
wishing you a relief from this pain either way.
offers a hug to steady you if wanted
offers a hug to steady you if wanted
Yes, I will be very drunk, maybe I will take some pills too, benzos maybe for falling asleep in the rope and numbing the pain.
