Venting But I’m a vegetable already

[mini_weeny]

Hi, after a gun went off and the sound destroyed my ears, I got tinnitus and hyperacusis a condition in which all everyday sounds cause excruciating pain and other very uncomfortable sensations. My life has been reduced to be completely homebound and in silence all day all days, I have no life whatsoever, can't watch Tv or listen to music, I'm in the couch all day sometimes just staring at the wall or runing around the house trying to escape loud noises. I think a life like this qualifies as being almost a vegetable already or at least I feel like one. Suicide is the only answer and I need it as soon as possible but still can't find a method because I don't have the balls to harm myself. A life like this is not worth living I do know that, can't go outside to see the sky or the stars, will never go to the beach or a forest again, I'm already dead. I need to end this.

 

[yetme]

You're saying that your ears are destroyed and never the less you are sensitive to noises? how's that possible?

 

[mini_weeny]

You're saying that your ears are destroyed and never the less you are sensitive to noises? how's that possible?

Yes no deafness just all nerves damaged so sounds feel like glass shards inside the ears. It's impossible to live like this.

 

[Wrennie]

I desperately wish I knew of some way to help you. My brother is in the same boat. No one should have to suffer like this. Hypothetically, if there were an operation that would render you deaf but also eliminate the intense nerve pain, would you undergo it? I don't know if such a thing even exists but I'd see it as far preferable to the constant sensation of having glass shards lodged in your eardrums.
But then again, that's no way to live either, is it?

I'm so, so sorry. I hate that that's all I can say because ultimately it does nothing to rectify your situation, but just know that we're here for you and I'll be keeping you in my thoughts...

 

[yetme]

Yes no deafness just all nerves damaged so sounds feel like glass shards inside the ears. It's impossible to live like this.

oh fuck(( that's horrible. as someone who's suffering from neurological pain on a daily basis I get you totally((

 

[not from here]

I think the brain is a weird thing, please don't take this the wrong way, but have you ever tried making the shards of glass like an orgasm?

 

[Lost Magic]

I just heard about this condition. Wow. This is what I learned.

 

[WornOutLife]

Damn, pal. I'm so sorry this has happened to you. This world is certainly unfair.

I can do nothing but hope you can be at peace soon. I don't have neither the guts nor the method to ctb either.

 

[mini_weeny]

I just heard about this condition. Wow. This is what I learned.

Yes it's like being dead already, most of us are homebound and live in silence, no entertainment no meaningful relationships no contact with nature, no nothing just 4 walls, silence and pain.

Damn, pal. I'm so sorry this has happened to you. This world is certainly unfair.

I can do nothing but hope you can be at peace soon. I don't have neither the guts nor the method to ctb either.

Thanks so much, I really love life but there's nothing for me here anymore with this condition. I'm just hanging on for lack of method and my 5 cats. But think about ctb every minute of every day.

 

[Leiden]

I think the brain is a weird thing, please don't take this the wrong way, but have you ever tried making the shards of glass like an orgasm?

What do you mean? Pretending that when they feel the shards of glass to pretend it feels good?

Hi, after a gun went off and the sound destroyed my ears, I got tinnitus and hyperacusis a condition in which all everyday sounds cause excruciating pain and other very uncomfortable sensations. My life has been reduced to be completely homebound and in silence all day all days, I have no life whatsoever, can't watch Tv or listen to music, I'm in the couch all day sometimes just staring at the wall or runing around the house trying to escape loud noises. I think a life like this qualifies as being almost a vegetable already or at least I feel like one. Suicide is the only answer and I need it as soon as possible but still can't find a method because I don't have the balls to harm myself. A life like this is not worth living I do know that, can't go outside to see the sky or the stars, will never go to the beach or a forest again, I'm already dead. I need to end this.

I'm truly sorry this is what you are having to live with. I know both well, not from having it, but from being frightened of it. I don't have loads of money, but I have donated what I could to the T ( I never even say the word ) Foundation and I am going to donate again with you in my heart and all the others here who suffer with this. I hope so badly that one day there will be a cure and you will hear silence again

 

[mini_weeny]

What do you mean? Pretending that when they feel the shards of glass to pretend it feels good?

I'm truly sorry this is what you are having to live with. I know both well, not from having it, but from being frightened of it. I don't have loads of money, but I have donated what I could to the T ( I never even say the word ) Foundation and I am going to donate again with you in my heart and all the others here who suffer with this. I hope so badly that one day there will be a cure and you will hear silence again

Thanks so much that is so sweet. I hope we find peace and happiness someday again. Protect your ears from loud music and loud noises always! Sending u a big hug :D

 

[bloomingdark]

Hi! I suffer from the same condition, i have managed to live with this now for four years i am 18 right now, i know how you feel and it's well known that this condition can lead to anxiety and depression, in order to make the tinnitus less hard i recommend you to stay away from nicotine and lots of coffee or alcohol, also , there are a lot of excercises to relief the pain in the ears, it's not a solution but it makes it better, try to always have a sound to blend with the tinnitus a fan, music in a really moderate volume etc, it helps,

If you ever need advice, contact me
Lots of love

 

[mini_weeny]

Hi! I suffer from the same condition, i have managed to live with this now for four years i am 18 right now, i know how you feel and it's well known that this condition can lead to anxiety and depression, in order to make the tinnitus less hard i recommend you to stay away from nicotine and lots of coffee or alcohol, also , there are a lot of excercises to relief the pain in the ears, it's not a solution but it makes it better, try to always have a sound to blend with the tinnitus a fan, music in a really moderate volume etc, it helps,

If you ever need advice, contact me
Lots of love

Wow you are so young so sorry to hear, what caused yours??? Pain has improved a bit after almost a year in silence but still very prone to setbacks with loud noises, I must be in a controlled noise environment all the time. Benzos helped a bit with loudness H, but still a fucking hell. Thanks for your good wishes sending a big hug back. Is this why ur here too?

 

[bloomingdark]

Wow you are so young so sorry to hear, what caused yours??? Pain has improved a bit after almost a year in silence but still very prone to setbacks with loud noises, I must be in a controlled noise environment all the time. Benzos helped a bit with loudness H, but still a fucking hell. Thanks for your good wishes sending a big hug back. Is this why ur here too?

Mine was caused with a really bad fever, must be sometime genetic...

I hope you can have relief, when being in this controlled environment you can improve a lot and be able to tolerate so much more, with time it becomes sometime more natural

It has caused my depression to get worse but I have it controlled, when the pain is too much in my ears i do some excercises, you can look them up on YouTube

Take really good care and I'm sorry this happened to you, i wouldn't wish it to anyone because I know how is to forget silence in the long run ....

Stay safe and lots of love

 

[orlandom]

Hi, after a gun went off and the sound destroyed my ears, I got tinnitus and hyperacusis a condition in which all everyday sounds cause excruciating pain and other very uncomfortable sensations. My life has been reduced to be completely homebound and in silence all day all days, I have no life whatsoever, can't watch Tv or listen to music, I'm in the couch all day sometimes just staring at the wall or runing around the house trying to escape loud noises. I think a life like this qualifies as being almost a vegetable already or at least I feel like one. Suicide is the only answer and I need it as soon as possible but still can't find a method because I don't have the balls to harm myself. A life like this is not worth living I do know that, can't go outside to see the sky or the stars, will never go to the beach or a forest again, I'm already dead. I need to end this.

If the sound disappeared completely, would it make it easier for you?

 

[mini_weeny]

If the sound disappeared completely, would it make it easier for you?

I think I would rather be deaf than have H definitely, deaf people can go out and enjoy the sun or the beach or a forest, they can travel, ride a bike, walk the streets. I can't . I can't be in an environment where sound is not controlled.

 

[ferolia]

Hi, after a gun went off and the sound destroyed my ears, I got tinnitus and hyperacusis a condition in which all everyday sounds cause excruciating pain and other very uncomfortable sensations. My life has been reduced to be completely homebound and in silence all day all days, I have no life whatsoever, can't watch Tv or listen to music, I'm in the couch all day sometimes just staring at the wall or runing around the house trying to escape loud noises. I think a life like this qualifies as being almost a vegetable already or at least I feel like one. Suicide is the only answer and I need it as soon as possible but still can't find a method because I don't have the balls to harm myself. A life like this is not worth living I do know that, can't go outside to see the sky or the stars, will never go to the beach or a forest again, I'm already dead. I need to end this.

I am suffering the same condition. Still alive but everyday I am one step closer to ctb. It is impossible to keep on. Very rare condition, and impossible from non sufferers to understand the severity. It is one of the worst things a person can end up with. Relentness hell 24/7, no break whatsoever and impossible to perform the most simple tasks.

 

[mini_weeny]

I am suffering the same condition. Still alive but everyday I am one step closer to ctb. It is impossible to keep on. Very rare condition, and impossible from non sufferers to understand the severity. It is one of the worst things a person can end up with. Relentness hell 24/7, no break whatsoever and impossible to perform the most simple tasks.

True some ppl can't even shower because of their sensitivity, and being homebound forever is just..... incomprehensible.... just soul crushing. No future for us. How long has it been for you? I have other friends here with that and we have a what's app chat if ur interested.

I am suffering the same condition. Still alive but everyday I am one step closer to ctb. It is impossible to keep on. Very rare condition, and impossible from non sufferers to understand the severity. It is one of the worst things a person can end up with. Relentness hell 24/7, no break whatsoever and impossible to perform the most simple tasks.

I really used to love life, I only ended up here because of H. I sometimes can't believe I'm actually here in a suicide group.

 

[ferolia]

True some ppl can't even shower because of their sensitivity, and being homebound forever is just..... incomprehensible.... just soul crushing. No future for us. How long has it been for you? I have other friends here with that and we have a what's app chat if ur interested.

I really used to love life, I only ended up here because of H. I sometimes can't believe I'm actually here in a suicide group.

me neither... sometimes I hardly believe that all there's left in life for me is death. Before this condition I was a person full of life. Always with a smile on my face and very active. For me it been a little bit more than 4 years but my H started to get out of control since a year ago. I managed to keep some distance from the suicide idea until things worsened significantly. So here I am now...
Yeah If you could welcome me aboard your chat group would be nice.

 

[mini_weeny]

me neither... sometimes I hardly believe that all there's left in life for me is death. Before this condition I was a person full of life. Always with a smile on my face and very active. For me it been a little bit more than 4 years but my H started to get out of control since a year ago. I managed to keep some distance from the suicide idea until things worsened significantly. So here I am now...
Yeah If you could welcome me aboard your chat group would be nice.

Sure will ask the admin to send you the link via private message. A year and 3 months for me but I know ppl many years Into this so desperate to ctb. Seems like it's impossible to go back to normal for most ppl once you get it.

 

[Thisgirlwantstosleep]

Have you tried earplugs to dull the noise? Different earplugs block out different decibels of sound. You should try it

 

[fred farkle]

you my friend,and several othets here,are suffering terribly with different physical problems. i am very sorry you have this burden-i wish you could get out and enjoy your freedom! it seems so unfair. i hope medical science can actually progress and find a cure for this shit!!
good luck. may i ask,are there any type of sound dampening headphones??

 

[mini_weeny]

you my friend,and several othets here,are suffering terribly with different physical problems. i am very sorry you have this burden-i wish you could get out and enjoy your freedom! it seems so unfair. i hope medical science can actually progress and find a cure for this shit!!
good luck. may i ask,are there any type of sound dampening headphones??

Hi, thanks so much for your kind words. Yes there are noise cancelling headphones but normalcy is impossible, 99 percent of the time consists of trying to be in a controlled environment without noise. It's too exhausting. It's very unlikely a cure will come since the hearing system is very complex and almost directly connected to the brain so it's basically a kind of brain damage. Hugzzz

 

[ferolia]

Indeed. Too complicated, poor research and fundraising. It is not yet globally recognizable as a disability. Rare and invisible and rooted in the brain. No cure is yet possible unless neuroscience achieve enormous innovations to access that part of our physiology.

Hi, thanks so much for your kind words. Yes there are noise cancelling headphones but normalcy is impossible, 99 percent of the time consists of trying to be in a controlled environment without noise. It's too exhausting. It's very unlikely a cure will come since the hearing system is very complex and almost directly connected to the brain so it's basically a kind of brain damage. Hugzzz