Any others out there undiagnosed but....

[Deathinminutes]

But know they're totally fucked up. It's like I'm 2 different people. Today I've battled whether what I was perceiving was reality or not. It's like I lose my balance mentally when I think hard enough to try n understand. Normal thoughts become wabbly then the next day or 2 I'm out of it. No complex thinking I zone out to re-emerge not knowing what I've done or thought or where I've been. How do you tell others your schizophrenic autistic bpd massively depressed anxious. I'm afraid to talk to others. Ask if they heard what I heard or see or smell things I smell. I hide it well from close ones but other people laugh or look at me crazy. I'm sure I seem crazy. Idk how to be or feel like a person when I'm delusional or hallucinating or unsure of what's real and what's not. All day I couldn't realize if me wanting to ctb soon was reality or if it was a dream. Wish I had something to cling to. Something to rest on for a while. Someone to think for me.

 

[hopelessdreams]

i'm sorry you're going through that. i haven't experienced that so i don't have any advice for you, but it sounds like you're in a manic episode. do you have access to a professional you can talk to? if you're unsure of ctb i'd suggest you check yourself in a mental hospital, they can do more for you then this forum. i hope you're okay

 

[Deathinminutes]

i'm sorry you're going through that. i haven't experienced that so i don't have any advice for you, but it sounds like you're in a manic episode. do you have access to a professional you can talk to? if you're unsure of ctb i'd suggest you check yourself in a mental hospital, they can do more for you then this forum. i hope you're okay

Thank you for taking time to respond to me. Was thoughtful of you.
Hope you're ok too.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Have you ever thought that you need to seek some professional help? And reason why you haven't? I think you owe it to yourself to at least give it a shot and see what happens. Maybe it won't do any good. Maybe, if you're prescribed medication, it won't work for you, or it will have too many unintended effects that you just can't tolerate. But, on the other side, it may help. I think you're being unfair to yourself, to your self worth, by not first seeing if you can be helped. Then, and only then, I believe, would a consideration of CTB be justified. Exhaust your other options first. You are worth it. This what I feel. It's not my intent to dismiss your feelings of wanting to CTB. I don't. But, I think you have worth and owe it to yourself.

 

[Cryptonite]

But know they're totally fucked up. It's like I'm 2 different people. Today I've battled whether what I was perceiving was reality or not. It's like I lose my balance mentally when I think hard enough to try n understand. Normal thoughts become wabbly then the next day or 2 I'm out of it. No complex thinking I zone out to re-emerge not knowing what I've done or thought or where I've been. How do you tell others your schizophrenic autistic bpd massively depressed anxious. I'm afraid to talk to others. Ask if they heard what I heard or see or smell things I smell. I hide it well from close ones but other people laugh or look at me crazy. I'm sure I seem crazy. Idk how to be or feel like a person when I'm delusional or hallucinating or unsure of what's real and what's not. All day I couldn't realize if me wanting to ctb soon was reality or if it was a dream. Wish I had something to cling to. Something to rest on for a while. Someone to think for me.

If you have a million illnesses and million symptoms including PD, chances are your problem is only PD and the rest is BS, because docs cannot diagnose this properly

Speaking from my own experience

 

[Forever Sleep]

Your experiences sound really frightening. It must feel very confusing to have different mind states that distort reality. I do think you need to speak to someone proffessional about the symptoms- they are supposed to be trained not to judge you. I hope someone can help you and wish you all the best.