I
IWantToSleep
Experienced
- Dec 27, 2020
- 227
I'll preface this by saying a lot of what I'm saying doesn't make sense, I'm just so nervous that I desperately want to let my thoughts out and get feedback.
I'm having a lot of SI and anxiety having SN and propranolol, my anxiety is telling me to throw them away again as I was anxious about this before, inevitably I'll be anxious either way probably.
Thinking to myself I should do everything in my power to get better (which I doubt I actually can) so my dad in his eighties who seems to be developing dementia with paranoid tendencies can not suffer losing me.
I don't know, all I can think of doing is trying to go to a psych ward or go to a rehab at the moment, or try to get benzos somehow, but I feel too stressed out to do the last option, seems too complicated.
I know this post is irrational, I think the reason why I made it is so someone could comfort me and tell me even if I throw my stuff away I could order my materials again, I don't know. How hard would it be to get a partner for ctb who would help you along if you're too pathetic to do any of the work eg. get the materials (or you can't find them)?
I CAN'T COPE WITH THIS ANXIETY AND PANIC ANYMORE
My posts are becoming more and more unreadable as time goes on.
Sorry for this post again, I just want people to talk about these thoughts with and get their opinions on them.
I'm having a lot of SI and anxiety having SN and propranolol, my anxiety is telling me to throw them away again as I was anxious about this before, inevitably I'll be anxious either way probably.
Thinking to myself I should do everything in my power to get better (which I doubt I actually can) so my dad in his eighties who seems to be developing dementia with paranoid tendencies can not suffer losing me.
I don't know, all I can think of doing is trying to go to a psych ward or go to a rehab at the moment, or try to get benzos somehow, but I feel too stressed out to do the last option, seems too complicated.
I know this post is irrational, I think the reason why I made it is so someone could comfort me and tell me even if I throw my stuff away I could order my materials again, I don't know. How hard would it be to get a partner for ctb who would help you along if you're too pathetic to do any of the work eg. get the materials (or you can't find them)?
I CAN'T COPE WITH THIS ANXIETY AND PANIC ANYMORE
My posts are becoming more and more unreadable as time goes on.
Sorry for this post again, I just want people to talk about these thoughts with and get their opinions on them.
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