Venting aimless, no way out

[butterscotch]

no method sounds feasible for me. not one.

i was gonna do train, but i read some terrifying stuff online. about being conscious, under the grinding of wheels.
this is agony.
i do not have the strength to dig a knife into myself. i am so trapped.
will it ever end

 

[sm20]

no method sounds feasible for me. not one.

i was gonna do train, but i read some terrifying stuff online. about being conscious, under the grinding of wheels.
this is agony.
i do not have the strength to dig a knife into myself. i am so trapped.
will it ever end

This might not apply to you, but if you live with your parents and are worried about them finding your sn package when it's delivered, amazon lets you order packages to hub lockers where you can pick them up from there instead. It's under shipping address after you proceed to checkout. Some of them are open 24/7. If you can't drive hire an uber, you can go in the middle of the night, pick up the sn and your parents wouldn't have any idea. I don't know if in your country isn't allowed but it's worth trying.

 

[butterscotch]

This might not apply to you, but if you live with your parents and are worried about them finding your sn package when it's delivered, amazon lets you order packages to hub lockers where you can pick them up from there instead. It's under shipping address after you proceed to checkout. Some of them are open 24/7. If you can't drive hire an uber, you can go in the middle of the night, pick up the sn and your parents wouldn't have any idea. I don't know if in your country isn't allowed but it's worth trying.

this is my exact situation. i cant order things bc of parents.

i also..dont have the money.
i just want to escape so bad. so so bad.

 

[Bullit]

You get hit by a train...and feel it??! Good God!!

 

[butterscotch]

You get hit by a train...and feel it??! Good God!!

the risk is there. the risk of remaining conscious all throughout.

 

[sm20]

this is my exact situation. i cant order things bc of parents.

i also..dont have the money.
i just want to escape so bad. so so bad.

I'm also in this situation but didn't want to risk giving one of my unvaccinated parents covid by going in an uber. I just ordered other things before to normalize me getting packages to my parents, and then ordered one other thing along with my sn so they'd be less suspicious. If I get caught and sent to a psych ward I'm going to try what I told you. Also sn is really cheap on amazon, it's $18 if you get hm grm 417. That plus shipping and the uber should be under $60 in total. You could always walk too. I'd wait until your next birthday or christmas and say you just want money and no/less gifts. Good luck.

 

[butterscotch]

I'm also in this situation but didn't want to risk giving one of my unvaccinated parents covid by going in an uber. I just ordered other things before to normalize me getting packages to my parents, and then ordered one other thing along with my sn so they'd be less suspicious. If I get caught and sent to a psych ward I'm going to try what I told you. Also sn is really cheap on amazon, it's $18 if you get hm grm 417. That plus shipping and the uber should be under $60 in total. You could always walk too. I'd wait until your next birthday or christmas and say you just want money and no/less gifts. Good luck.

i can't stand the wait
i just want a straightforward death, preferably tonight
it won't happen but i wish


only option is stabbing or setting myself on fire, lmao

 

[WornOutLife]

Yes, no method here either.
I wish I had SN or N. I can't see myself getting the hell outta this planet in other way.
Also, I can't leave because of my dad. He really needs me and I don't wanna kill him from sadness! :(

 

[FuneralCry]

I know how that feels. It actually really is hard to take our own lives and methods can easily go wrong. We should be allowed a peaceful way out if we want one, nobody should be forced to suffer. It must be awful feeling trapped on this earth. I wish you well.

 

[Broken Buzz]

I've witnessed two suicides by train, the first from inside the train, the second on the platform at the moment of impact. We all imagine it to be horrifying but there is something about having to rinse a young woman's blood from your clothes and brush clumps of 'matter' from your shoes; a tragedy that cannot adequately be described - particularly knowing the darkness that must have led her to such a desperate act. It is about as far from a dignified death as you can possibly imagine.

I understand why doctors, crime scene investigators and the like have defence mechanisms in place, bystanders aren't usually so prepared :(

 

[Scribble Fan]

I get it. Partial isn't working out for me and I have no money for SN. Guess I'm stuck here...

 

[butterscotch]

I've witnessed two suicides by train, the first from inside the train, the second on the platform at the moment of impact. We all imagine it to be horrifying but there is something about having to rinse a young woman's blood from your clothes and brush clumps of 'matter' from your shoes; a tragedy that cannot adequately be described - particularly knowing the darkness that must have led her to such a desperate act. It is about as far from a dignified death as you can possibly imagine.

I understand why doctors, crime scene investigators and the like have defence mechanisms in place, bystanders aren't usually so prepared :(

i'm okay with my death not being dignified..
i can't believe you have experienced that. twice. i'm so sorry