Torbasco
Member
- Jun 10, 2020
- 87
I can't take living like this anymore. Any time I try to do or think about anything, it devolves into TV static that just intensifies painfully until I stop. This is hell. I've always had intense problems with school, but now as an adult my anxiety has been thrown into chaos. Every little past interaction I've ever had races through my mind uncontrollably, I can't stop having panic attacks on a regular basis. I can't even focus on a short video, much less function enough to work or build skills.
I have tried to the best of my ability to get help. I had a psychiatrist, and he refuses to listen to his patients and threatens them regularly. Obvious malpractice everywhere but it's not like he's even touchable at this point in the world. Now, no matter how hard I push myself to make a call long enough to look, nobody will help me. Even if I finally reach someone, everyone insists I stay with my current one no matter what, because they're all so overbooked.
I am ready to give it all up now. I know I desperately need adderall or some medication to not be completely paralyzed (I've never had it before, I don't even know if it would work). Im all on my own and I can't see 3 feet in front of me. If I can't run into a miracle I want to end it very soon. I plan to use the night night method, since I tried to CTB with SN and had an incredibly agonizing EP reaction to the meto, and don't feel like I can function enough to do anything more.
I have tried to the best of my ability to get help. I had a psychiatrist, and he refuses to listen to his patients and threatens them regularly. Obvious malpractice everywhere but it's not like he's even touchable at this point in the world. Now, no matter how hard I push myself to make a call long enough to look, nobody will help me. Even if I finally reach someone, everyone insists I stay with my current one no matter what, because they're all so overbooked.
I am ready to give it all up now. I know I desperately need adderall or some medication to not be completely paralyzed (I've never had it before, I don't even know if it would work). Im all on my own and I can't see 3 feet in front of me. If I can't run into a miracle I want to end it very soon. I plan to use the night night method, since I tried to CTB with SN and had an incredibly agonizing EP reaction to the meto, and don't feel like I can function enough to do anything more.
