About to order SN

[MutatedFlower]

My life sucks and I'm unable to bear any more pain. I'm a neet, and alone. I'm intellectually impaired from the treatments from the psychiatric community( Anti-psychotics, Electro-shock therapy, anti-depressants ). Emotionally I'm a train wreck. I have nothing to give anyone.

I've read sodium nitrite is virtually painless. Headache, fast heart beat, tingling, mild discomfort. After 20 minutes, I'll be unconscious. Nothing compared to the pain I've felt. I'm done for. After death, there's just nothingness. I'm certain of this. Life has made me certain of this. Why shouldn't I die? And don't give me religous b.s. There's so many unanswered questions. Its really just a leap of faith and I'm so tired of being deceived.

I want a reason to live that's based in this life not the next. How does it help anyone if you're living for the wrong reasons? Is there a reason to live if there is nothing left of you?

I honestly think I'm harming people at this point by being alive. I've become a degenerate. I'm a parasite consuming societies resources giving nothing in return; and I don't have anything to give. I'm feeding off my parents wealth. I'm doing the very thing I hate. I despise the capitalist country I live in. Absolutely, hate it. This makes me want to cry. I'm a huge hypocrite.

I'm too tired to write anymore. The story of life, not having enough will.

I'm 23, btw. Some of you might consider me immature. But fuck it. You'll only confirm I need to die.

 

[Rayzieka]

If you're seeking a nonreligious reason- in my opinion, the only answer is friends.
I can't recommend family, but instead, decide who your family is and try to find a reason to stay for the experiences possible with them.
I'm almost your age and I feel as though everything good is over or that I've missed it due to my fears.
But I can't confirm it true even for myself. Sure I might decide to ctb- but that doesn't mean everyone with similar cases has to do the same.
You can still find experiences that are worth experiencing.
Just because you're taking from society doesn't mean you're a failure it means society failed you- combined with unfortunate circumstances.
Take all you can, because we're all little pieces of nothing looking for the next high out of all the lows. It doesn't matter what you take as long as you never see the consequences. And even if you do, so what? Its not your fault. Always keep trying- until you literally cant try anymore.

 

[SweetDreams500]

i'm also a neet, except that i'm not rich.

 

[MutatedFlower]

i'm also a neet, except that i'm not rich.

Yeah, my parents are. I'm not. And inheritance is the only thing I got going for me. Do you know how pathetic that is?

 

[TheYounger]

What's a "neet"?

 

[SweetDreams500]

Yeah, my parents are. I'm not. And inheritance is the only thing I got going for me. Do you know how pathetic that is?

that does not qualify as a difference in my eyes

What's a "neet"?

means you don't work or study. another word for 'lazy bum'

 

[TheYounger]

that does not qualify as a difference in my eyes


means you don't work or study. another word for 'lazy bum'

Okay. Thanks for that.

 

[Latios]

Okay. Thanks for that.

In particular, `NEET' is an acronym that stands for `Not in Education, Employment, or Training.' :)

 

[WornOutLife]

If we have no reasons to live, it's practically impossible to do it.

I'm still in this world because of my dad and also because I would like to experience some awesome stuff before ctb such as visiting the country of my dreams: Japan.

Hope you can find something and get better somehow!

Hugs and love,

Matt

 

[rs929]

Have you tried drugs like psilocybin, MDMA, LSD?
Also, whenever we are depressed it seems like there's no hope ahead, but I also found that it feels like the suffering will last forever, which is not true, as if you don't commit suicide you'll eventually die. Maybe you can afford to give some time to find a reason to live. Or if you don't, at least small things you can enjoy

 

[MutatedFlower]

Have you tried drugs like psilocybin, MDMA, LSD?
Also, whenever we are depressed it seems like there's no hope ahead, but I also found that it feels like the suffering will last forever, which is not true, as if you don't commit suicide you'll eventually die. Maybe you can afford to give some time to find a reason to live. Or if you don't, at least small things you can enjoy

I've actually been thinking of trying psilocybin.

 

[Curiousoutlook]

I totally feel you. I'm 23 as well living in this capitalist country.

 

[MutatedFlower]

SN arrives June 9th. The plan is to ctb on the day it comes in. I'm just not fit for this world. I've been diagnosed with autism and bipolar; and life is just too hard.

I'm beyond the point of return.

 

[Beachedwhale]

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling this way and I hope something could turn it around. I'm in the exact same situation as you except I'm a bit older. I'm also interested in trying psilocybin. Are you in the UK by the way?

 

[MutatedFlower]

Are you in the UK by the way?

u.s.