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Does it get worse the older you get?
Thread starterreturntothevoid
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I just need to know. To the older people on this site: Does it steadily get worse the older you get? Is it a steady decline after a certain peak or does it go up and down? At what age would you say you "peaked" and why?
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restingplace, Meteora, etherealspring and 6 others
I wouldn't consider myself one of the older people at 30, but i can safely say my life has gotten astronomically worse over the years. But a major factor was that i developed depression and anxiety about 8 years ago
I have a few older friends a decade older who tell me life gets much worse as you age unfortunately. More stress and responsibilities, more tiredness etc
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etherealspring, kunikuzushi, wCvML2 and 9 others
I wouldn't consider myself one of the older people at 30, but i can safely say my life has gotten astronomically worse over the years. But a major factor was that i developed depression and anxiety about 8 years ago
I have a few older friends a decade older who tell me life gets much worse as you age unfortunately. More stress and responsibilities, more tiredness etc
It's different for every single person in the world. Some decline and mourn their lost youth. Others thrive as they age. Others continue much as before. Me telling you what my life and MH were like as a child, a teenager, and in my 20s, 30s and now 40s will tell you absolutely nothing about your own life and future.
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A Dream of a Dream, etherealspring, madasco and 11 others
I just need to know. To the older people on this site: Does it steadily get worse the older you get? Is it a steady decline after a certain peak or does it go up and down? At what age would you say you "peaked" and why?
At 40 I don't think my life is "worse", it's different. Instead of worrying about parents, peer acceptance and grades, acne and what clothing is considered "cool", I now worry about paying my bills, the environment, whether I can retire, and my... parents There are always going to be life stressors there, they just change. I have gotten two degrees after the age of 30, I wasn't married until my mid 30s, I'm in better physical shape at 40 than I was at 15, and I know who I am now better than I did 20 years ago. Honestly, if I wasn't neck-deep in depression I'd say my life is way better now than it's ever been.
The problem is I have lost so much support along the way. 40 years of parental pressure has worn me down. Over a decade of a career I didn't want and that is pretty unrewarding is exhausting. Through it all I've had a partner that has been borderline abusive at times. All of this combined has driven me to where I am.
I don't think anyone can give a hard cutoff as to when it is "too late" to have a good, happy life or when your life starts to take a hard decline. Hell, I've had relatives in their 90s still loving life. It heavily depends on the life choices you make and who, if anyone, will be there to support you through it.
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A Dream of a Dream, Meteora, broth0100 and 7 others
For me it's gotten worse. Physical and mental health problems have coalesced to make my life an absolute living hell. I haven't ctb yet because I'm waiting on my very old dogs and I refuse to orphan them. Losing them will definitely put me over the edge as they are my only reason for existing. I'm totally disabled at this point and have zero quality of life.
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lizzywizzy09, lovedread, Bobert_Beniro and 7 others
I can say my life peaked in my early 40's. Then it declined bc of a big failure that leads to financial issues. The follows are I can't live my life the way I want to live it anymore and my life gets worse bc of this.
From a health point of view I'm still in the best years and wouldn't say that a decline has even started. I woould really want to live my life to the fullest if my problem could be solved and I was able to do so.
There are a lot of things that can lead to a declining life and they are very individual.
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Alex Fermentopathy, sserafim, Deleted member 65988 and 6 others
It's different for every single person in the world. Some decline and mourn their lost youth. Others thrive as they age. Others continue much as before. Me telling you what my life and MH were like as a child, a teenager, and in my 20s, 30s and now 40s will tell you absolutely nothing about your own life and future.
At 30+ i can say it can get worst or you can contain that.
Imo the only way you can contain it is to have a stable career/made a good amount of money. Like if you are very good in something, plus you didn't miss a lot of nice life experiences you will easily contain it, you may even heal from whatever afflicts you.
Imagine, being slightly depressed but with a good job(that you like also) and a nice girl, would not be that bad, wouldn't it?
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Bobert_Beniro, Crash_Bash_Dash, sserafim and 4 others
At 30+ i can say it can get worst or you can contain that.
Imo the only way you can contain it is to have a stable career/made a good amount of money. Like if you are very good in something, plus you didn't miss a lot of nice life experiences you will easily contain it, you may even heal from whatever afflicts you.
My story is complicated. I tamed depression when I was young somehow, but 2 or 3 catastrophic events drag me down(they were really heavy events). I think this is the worst scenario that can actually happen, because it is not your fault in any possible way, so you start feeling extremely angry towards someone or something not well specified.
I did something in life, but nothing special and with my skills and character i could achieve way more, career/life wise. Also this is the perfect time for ppl with my same character who can stay completely alone, yet enjoying some company. Unfortunately i cannot take back time and I'm really frustrated about this, just writing you this post bring me back to these dark memories, that infected also my future(my current present). Lately I'm thinking about CTB everyday, i just have to wait for the right inspiration and get all those stupid thoughts like 'my parents will suffer, this and that' out of my mind. It is like 3 years that I'm not living at all, i mean, i went to work and so on, but I was extremely depressed and i think it will get worst... because I'm not happy at all.
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Praestat_Mori, returntothevoid and sserafim
Personally- no, I don't think so. A lot depends on your circumstances. My life can be broken down basically into: A mixed childhood but some of it was shitty enough to cause ideation in the first place. Then, really the rest of my life has been focussed on the coping mechanism (being creative) that got me through that time.
Seeing as the creative industry is so difficult to stay afloat in, my moods have largely revolved around how well I was doing in that. Basically though, my early childhood was mixed, my adolescence was terrible, my 20's were a struggle, my 30's were relatively good and now I'm in my 40's, I'm struggling again. But, not as badly as I was when I was young. I think it's different for everyone.
Personally, the advantages of getting older for me have been: independence. Being able to get out of a toxic home environment. Caring less about things. I was so nervous and eager to please when I was young. The disadvantages are obviously that your body starts to fail but you can still do things to help that. I've found that exercising regularly has helped a lot. Not that it solves everything but, there are sometimes things we can do to help ourselves. It's not always a slippery slope.
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Praestat_Mori, returntothevoid, Circles and 4 others
For me things have gotten worse overall but better in some specific ways. I have legal rights over my body now that society recognizes to a higher extent, whereas no one cares about the physical autonomy of a 25 year old. Overall things have gotten worse since I wasn't able to achieve any of the things that give most adults purpose in life... relationships, career, etc. The older people I've known that are happy have simply not had many challenges.
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Praestat_Mori, returntothevoid, sserafim and 1 other person
I am in my late 40s and experience a number of challenges - not age related. I have friends for all ages right up to 96. I have found that older people appears to be having more fun, freedom and positivity towards life. Especially the two oldest people I now are 89 and 96 - nd they are both the happiest people I have the fortune of knowing.
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Meteora, Praestat_Mori, returntothevoid and 4 others
The older you get, the more likely you are for health issues to arise. There's no guarantee as to when they will arise, or what they may be, but an aging body is prone to more things going wrong. No matter what you hear, there are no 50 or 60 year olds with the same vigor and vitality as an 18 year old. Makes sense, right? I mean as we age, we're, basically, deteriorating. Not sure how deteriorating would ever be considered good, or better.
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Bobert_Beniro, Praestat_Mori, returntothevoid and 4 others
I just need to know. To the older people on this site: Does it steadily get worse the older you get? Is it a steady decline after a certain peak or does it go up and down? At what age would you say you "peaked" and why?
In my case yes, I do believe though it depends on what you experience as you get older. It didn't work that way for me but if you're young and experience good things in your 20s vs bad, I think there is a chance. The biggest difference is, I had no idea the longer my brain stayed depressed and in this state with bad experiences it would be forever changed. Changed beyond repair where no matter what good thing I experienced past the age of 35 it wouldn't make me happy. I'm serious I can no longer feel joy or laughter physically or mentally.
The brain had decades to be what it was, depressed and hopeless..no amount of good experiences would fix it. Because truly life has more negative experiences. Any small thing makes me want to end it. The load is already too heavy so adding one small thing on top of it makes me want to crumble. Eventually when things never go your way. Years and years of financial struggles lack of simple things like health insurance, awful encounters with awful people.
I'm a firm believer that two things are very important. What country you're born in + what family you're born in majority predicts the outcome of the person. Yes there are outliers on each end of the spectrum. There was just noway with what I was born into that I wouldn't be harmed at some point mentally. Sorry but I don't respect people who grew up with everything and still managed to end up in the same or worse state of mind as me. Because I don't understand it and I know had I been given the same easy life as these people I wouldn't have ended up with this type or depression. My family was shit all of them including my older sister. My situation lead me to an abusive relationship that I couldn't escape before it was too late to recover.
I never tell anyone that anymore, you'd be surprised how many men and WOMEN blame the woman for being abused. They make up what happened and have some pre-made story from a lifetime movie like you stayed because you loved him. It's never huh you're broke af and have no family. Another popular thing people say is why no shelter seemly not understanding no shelter will take you in unless you have minor children. The state and government only rewards you for having kids. Meaning you have to be a pos to get help. Because you dragged another helpless human being into poverty and danger lol. That's the reality but people love the lifetime version that you're just a fuckin idiot and stayed because you loved him. I lived in a snowy area at the time. Someone even said I didn't have to stay I could have slept outside. Imagine how safe that would have been as a young woman alone.
If hypothermia didn't kill me, then I would have been exposed to multiple predators..the way I saw it is, one asshole vs multiples. But nope it's "drrr you could have slept outside if you really really wanted to leave" of course these people have family call their family at any sign of trouble, that's the ones giving these oh so logical reasons of why and how. These people have actually never truly been on their own..it doesn't matter if they're 20 or 50. The fact that they believe they could have any type of opinion on it. My ex friend who was also female. She said "I can't believe you let that happen" she's one year younger than me. Her grandmother and mother have taken care of her into her 30s. Her grandmother died her mom kicked her out. So she was staying with random people and couldn't HACK IT. Couldn't even survive as an adult even in her 30s. By that time I escaped the situation and she was begging me for money to help her. Oh really "how did you LET this happen" from 18 to 34 that was years and years to save up money for work but nope she lived at home like a baby and spent all of her money on fun stuff like luxury goods and food or whatever. Think she offered me help when I was in that situations? I didn't ask her but she didn't offer either..that's the one who came crawling back for help. I'm so glad I cut her off and it should have happen long before.
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Praestat_Mori, returntothevoid and sserafim
At 50, I feel I have more life experiences to enable me to deal with and rationalise stuff. So I'm not as 'triggered' by everything.. But for the things that still affect me, it doesn't get emotionally easier - it still hurts just as much.
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Meteora, Praestat_Mori, returntothevoid and 1 other person
From the biology point of view our cells start deteriorating after the age of 30 I presume.
So the sack of meat we carry around starts decaying and nothing can stop that until some serious breakthrough in science.
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sserafim, Praestat_Mori, returntothevoid and 2 others
36 . 30s have the worst years of my life but I know for a lot of people it's best time. My therapist is in her 40s and said life didn't start improving until her 40s so I guess it's different for everyone
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Meteora, Praestat_Mori and returntothevoid
I'm in my late 30's / early 40's (don't want to be too specific). I have found it has come in ebbs and waves. A times my depression is overpowering and I get intrusive thoughts that I want to st*b myself in the gut. I feel like my life is meaningless and pointless, especially now, especially at this age. And for hte first time I don't have a goal to work towards.
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wCvML2, Praestat_Mori, returntothevoid and 1 other person
I can only imagine that it must get worse since any time ive brought up my problems in the past, older people have always said "youre still so young, you have nothing to worry about, just wait till youre older." so if Ive got problems now, i dont see them getting easier with age.
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sserafim, Praestat_Mori, divinemistress87 and 1 other person
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